I am sitting outdoors on a summer, starry night by myself at my mother’s house.
I will soon become a mom for a second time.
My older son and my mom are sleeping, and my husband is enjoying a few quiet moments.
I am thinking, what can I do now to be happy?
- Watch a movie?
- Go to sleep?
- Read?
I know! I will sit on my chair and gaze at the stars. I am going to enjoy the cool air and relax while doing nothing.
If I feel the need to do anything, I am going to do something I love. Something active and creative. Being alone and in such an ideal environment is a rare chance for me.
(Silence)
(Undefined Noises)
Ahhhh! I got scared once.
It was nothing.
Then, again a different sound.
I was scared again.
I leave my spot and go next to my husband.
I am not scared anymore.
It is funny. I say I want to be alone in a remote place. A little moment passes, and something makes me feel terrified.
And I automatically run into my husband’s arms like a baby.
Maybe I am not as independent as I want to be. Or strong.
Maybe I don’t need such a quiet environment in nature.
Or maybe I will read my book on my bed. Much safer sure.
But, now I remember the last time we came here.
I was in bed, and a bat came inside through the window.
So even the bed is not a safe choice.
I will stay here, next to him.
He is strong. He is smart.
He was the one who ran to help me when I saw the bat.
I am starting to think about what attracts me to him.
In such strange times, my gratitude flourishes.
I am the luckiest woman to have him in my life.
So do I need to notice a mouse or a cockroach on my way to turn on my gratitude?
